I know you’ll be reading this, you have your laptop on your lap, and Jesus is sitting right next to you, but if you can please answer this question, why do I feel like you’re having a blast while in heaven? I feel like you’re just messing around up there totally having fun lol but I really do miss you, and I love you Zahra
Zahra and I first met in high school, I met her through my friend Darrell. We used to talk a lot on the phone and eventually she came to my birthday party where we first met. We talked every now and then after that but we were then reunited when I joined JAC 63…I looked at her differently, I remember she was den mother when I joined, and the brothers dorm was being too loud one night, she walked in along with another sister and said we were being too loud and that as punishment we had to say the hail mary lol. I was intimidated, and at the same time I looked up to her, even though we were the same age, and I was older by like 2 weeks! lol Seeing her at JAC made me wanna change for the better, I wanted to turn my life towards Jesus.
After serving a couple of retreats with Zahra, we parted ways for a while. I came back to JAC 80 with the help of Melanie…I remember during that renewal, Zahra and I sat down in the eating area and we just talked and caught up. I also remember asking her who she think would be the next assistant lol, I remember telling her how I wanted to become one eventually, I wanted to do what she did. By God’s grace, I was called, 9 months later was JAC 83 reunion, and I called Zahra and asked her to please come by, I thought she would be proud of me. She came by, and by God’s grace she stayed to help serve others and eventually was called to become a mentor for Aileen.
For some reason when I came back to JAC I felt so comfortable, and when I hung with JAC people outside of JAC, it made me feel like I was on top of the world…I wanted to avoid my friends who weren’t in JAC and wanted to hang out more with my JAC family…I told Zahra of my situation and she told me she felt the same way, we both loved how we were able to have a real mature conversation with someone in JAC despite how old they would be, take for example Brandon or Nicole…We loved that there was no drama in JAC and if there was we were able to resolve it as adults…we made a promise to each other to hang out more…we started fufilling that promise too, I ended up making cupcakes with her, Aileen, and Allen one night, we made plans to go to Great America, and to see Blink 182 in concert…
I’m so mad at myself…I didn’t call her that one day to hang out while Mark and Melanie were planning the retreat, she got upset with me and I felt bad…Soon after that she started tweeting about how she was sick and she asked for prayers, I didn’t even pray for her. I played it off as a simple sickness and that she would be over it and up on her feet hanging out with me, Melanie, Allen, Aileen, and Nicole…She said something about not having health insurance either =...I called her a week ago to check up on her, but she didn’t answer…
We arrive to today, after JAC 86 workshop Uncle Mario delievered the terrible news…I was shocked, and mad at myself…If only I prayed, if only we hung out more…It made me appreciate many things too, sometimes it takes something like this to turn it into a lesson for many others…After today, when we all hugged and said our goodbyes, each JAC staffer said to another “i love you”…It made me happy inside, don’t just say it to your family or loved ones, say it to your friends, why? Because for all you know it may be the last time you see that person…
After I heard the news, I cried, but at the same time I heard Zahras voice in my head telling me to stop crying and to just go out and have fun…
I miss you and love you Zahra, try and to have too much fun while up there ok?
p.s. we plan on going to Great America soon, the guys and I will leave a open seat for you =)
